This 2024, February 14 falls on the first day of Lent, Ash Wednesday. If you’re a Catholic, you know that Ash Wednesday is a day of fasting, abstinence, and almsgiving. If you’re a Catholic and a hopeless romantic, you know that means there are a few things people traditionally do on Valentine’s Day that you would have to forego this year. These include indulgent meals, expensive gifts, and sex.

Bummer!

Not to sound smug and self-righteous, but Francis and I are not Valentine’s Day people. Maybe it’s because Valentine’s Day is always kind of close to Lent, and Lent is our favorite season. Maybe it’s because we are both employed and February 14 was a workday for six out of seven years of our relationship. It’s not something we celebrate as a special day, so it falling on Ash Wednesday this year means little to us.

But we’re also not closing any doors, especially now that we have a child. If one day we have a change of heart and decide to make Valentine’s Day a special day for our little family, here are 14 Lent-friendly ways to:

1. Go to mass together

Prayer, fasting, and almsgiving are the three ways the Catholic Church calls us to be closer to God during this season. While Ash Wednesday is not a Holy Day of Obligation – that is, not required – going to Mass on this day is a universal practice among Catholics. In my years as a Lector-Commentator for our parish, it’s also one of the few days the Church overflows. Almost everywhere you go, you’re going to see at least one person with ashes on their forehead.

It’s always a great idea to go to Mass as a couple or as a family. The Mass is a celebration, so it’s a great way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. If you’re from our parish, I’m pretty sure you’re going to hear the silliest homilies from our priests, who will be making fun of Valentine’s Day falling on Ash Wednesday, too.

2. Eat a Lent-friendly full meal together

Being formerly vegan for eight years, I already have a whole repertoire of delicious dishes that are meat-free. There are thousands upon thousands of meat-free recipes we can find online, too.

But being meat-free is not the only qualification for a meal to be Lent-adherent. One important lesson I learned from one of our priests is that the one “full meal” we are allowed to eat on Ash Wednesday should be plain and simple. The point is for the meal to give us just enough energy to last the day without its taste taking away our focus from prayer. If the meal, although meat-free, is decadent, we are not fasting.

3. Write a love letter for each other

This next one concerns gifts.

An important reason for fasting during Lent is controlling yourself from spending unnecessarily on material things. Gifts like expensive flowers, chocolates, stuffed toys, and jewelry are often overpriced on this day.

Thankfully, writing a love letter is free. You can write a traditional, handwritten letter to your partner, or post an appreciation note on social media for your friends to see. Either way, a heartfelt and honest letter is sure to make your significant other, at the very least, giddy.

If you think writing a love letter is corny, I think this piece will change your mind.

If after reading the article you still can’t get yourself to profess your love in written word, I personally recommend include a handmade craft or an actual living plant. (I’m bad at both of that, so I stick to love letters.)

4. Go on a date that does not cost money

Another way to abstain from spending money on Valentine’s Day is to go to a date that costs little. You can walk in the park, go on a hike, go to the library to find a book of romantic poems to read to each other, tend your garden together, or if you’re not abstaining from technology, watch a movie together.

5. Give alms

It is important to remember that you are not abstaining from spending just to save money. The purpose of abstinence is so you can give more to the poor and in need.

I know that this is a tight time for many of us, given the current economic crisis. Personally, almsgiving is the hardest pillar for me to fulfill. I am still to learn how to let go of this poverty mindset that makes it impossible for me to give money to homeless people. I guise this with adherence to Philippine laws that makes it a crime to give money to the homeless.

There are many ways to be charitable, aside from giving money. You can make and give away food for the homeless or a poor family in your area. If you and your partner are not busy, you can give a few hours to a grieving friend who needs someone to talk to. You can help a new mother with house chores so she can spend more time with herself and her baby. You can volunteer at a shelter. There are lots of meaningful things you and your significant other can give to those in need.

Bonus: Celebrate Valentine’s Day on Fat Tuesday

Alternatively, you and your significant other can hold an advance Valentine’s Day celebration on February 13. The day before Ash Wednesday is Fat Tuesday, where you’re supposed to eat everything you want! Sort of your “Last Supper” before going on a Lenten fast, you can have an indulgent Valentine’s Day celebration on this day instead.

Happy Valentine’s Day!